A joyous day to you! Because you cannot have joYOUsness without YOU. Am I right?
Let's talk about FRUIT today. I am currently in the process of eating a metric pantload of the stuff for breakfast, comprising one banana, two apples, and a large but uncertain number of grapes. Damn, this stuff is filling! And it's really low calorie too. Since fruit is a plant based whole food, it's totally allowed and encouraged to be eaten by adherents of the Church of Bike With Joe. The Cosmos rewards the eating of fruit with one of the Blessings of the Church: CLEAN BLOWS. If you are curious, you can read more about clean blows HERE (and apologies in advance!). The Blessing is usually bestowed about 24-36 hours post-consumption of said fruit (or fruit salad) and it is believed to indicate that the individual has been bestowed with Cosmic (albeit temporary) protection from Evil.
I will be seeing a handful of marriage and family therapy clients this morning, after which I will attend the monthly Systems Theory consult group meeting that I participate in semi-regularly. On my way to the meeting, I'll stop by the office to get my business mail. It's very possible this evening will comprise going to Best Buy to acquire a couple of essentials for the coming Apocalypse, including a new TV for the bedroom and possibly a standalone freezer for the basement (to hold overflow vegan pizzas).
There was (and still is) a possibility of me attending a Bombay Bicycle Club ride tomorrow - the final one of the 2024 cycling season. But the window of opportunity on that is rapidly closing, due to weather. This is probably for the best, because there was talk of getting together with my parents for lunch at the Crisp-n-Green tomorrow, and the bike ride might cut into that. So, it may be a Peloton workout at home instead. Such is life...and a good effing life it is!
Are you a member of the Church of Bike With Joe yet? There's no obligation whatsoever. It's optional, but encouraged, if you are looking for an organic lifestyle that is guaranteed to improve mental, physical, and spiritual well being (Enlightenment). I am sure there are many other ways to find Enlightenment out there. However, I have no idea what those are, and joining the Church of Bike With Joe is one of the easiest and most certain ways to achieve said goal. The Church has three basic Tenets, and if you follow them, you'll achieve ideal wellness. The Tenets are:
1. Follow a whole food (80%) plant based (100%) way of eating.
2. Exercise aerobically for at least 30 minutes every day.
3. Abstain from and avoid mental, physical, and spiritual toxins (including social and mainstream media, toxic people, and poisons like nicotine, drugs, and alcohol).
That's it. Membership in the Church is an act of DOING those three things. There are no fees or dues. There are no Church Fathers (except maybe me, since I started the gosh darn thing). There are no places of worship, other than within your own physical, mental, and spiritual lived experience (consciousness). If you adopt and integrate these Tenets into your life, you will start to notice the mental, physical, and spiritual benefits (aka, The Awakening) in about 2-3 weeks.*
Joining does not even require 100% adherence to the Tenets - just having the INTENTION to do so is enough (although Enlightenment cannot be guaranteed if you don't follow them at least a little bit). Following the Tenets should feel like the natural and authentic thing to do (at least after 2-3 weeks of following them, if not right away). And not following them should feel uncomfortable and unbalancing and destabilizing. If neither of the aforementioned things are true for you, then the Church probably isn't for you. And that's totally OK! Don't try to pound a square peg into a round hole by pursuing something that violates your authentic narrative and values. That would be a waste of time.
You may be wondering why these three things, in particular, are the Tenets of the Church of Bike With Joe. In short, these Tenets are derived from what Science has told us are the best ways to optimize wellness.
Some have asked, "What is the most important of the three Tenets, if...say...I can only follow one of them?" The answer is the third one - avoiding toxins (especially social and mainstream media). Eating a plant based diet and daily aerobic exercise are not feasible or possible for everyone. The Church understands this and emphasizes INTENTION more than action on the first two Tenets. The third Tenet is actionable for almost everyone, because it involves NOT doing (abstaining from) something, which is achievable for just about everyone. It's easier to not do something than it is to do something (you can test this yourself...). You know, there was actually a time in the world, not too long ago, when social media did not exist and mainstream media had to be accessed ACTIVELY (it wasn't always passively ubiquitous in your life).
Nonetheless, due to Grievance Addiction, many people still find it hard to abstain from social and mainstream media (SMSM), which was literally designed by diabolical forces (in Silicon Valley) to be more addictive than heroin or nicotine [SOURCE]. If you doubt this, I challenge you to abstain from SMSM for one week...or even one full day. You'll see what I mean. And if you have already kicked the SMSM habit, great! You are well on your way to becoming a Church of Bike With Joe adherent (should you so choose).
Fin.
*NOTE: I'm not gonna lie to you...the window of opportunity to join the Church of Bike With Joe is still very wide open, as of this posting. No urgency whatsoever. If this were about marketing some kind of religious scheme to profit off of, I'd probably lie and tell you that the window of opportunity is CLOSING SOON, SO ACT FAST! Nope. It's not. And - much like Honey Badger - I honestly don't have any strong incentive to encourage you to join the Church, other than empathy (which, one could argue, is the currency of Karma). In fact, the Church really doesn't want any members who aren't INTENTIONAL about being members. As I said earlier, following the Tenets should feel like it aligns perfectly with your values and authentic self. If that's not the case, don't join. That said, it takes 2-3 weeks of following the Tenets to feel the benefits (Blessings), so give it a sporting chance if you are on the fence. But if you know healthy vegan eating, daily aerobic exercise, and avoiding toxins like SMSM are not for you, move along...nothing to see here.
As of now, there is no urgency whatsoever to join the Church of Bike With Joe. However, the window of opportunity to join very explicitly closes on January 19, 2025, a little over two months from now. You can literally join any time right up to the deadline, and it's super easy to do. As I said earlier, just INTENTIONALLY start practicing the three Tenets of the Church described above...and you're IN! Because it takes 2-3 weeks to reap the full mental, physical, and spiritual rewards of adherence to the Tenets, I would do so no later than about New Year's Eve 2024, if you plan to join (or you just want to give it a practice run). In fact, you could make joining the Church your New Year's Resolution, if you like. Most people give up on their New Year's Resolutions about 2-3 weeks into the new year anyway. So, if it ends up not being your bag, you've sacrificed nothing.
You can, of course, also join the Church after the January 19, 2025 deadline, but the Church makes no guarantee of mental, physical, and spiritual salvation on or after January 20, 2025. We also don't make any guarantee of that on or before that date either, because get real...how could anyone guarantee any such thing? However, an inability to guarantee salvation does not mean we don't KNOW it will happen. That's what FAITH is all about...knowing something with your heart and soul without any scientific evidence whatsoever. It's important to say here that the Church of Bike With Joe LOVES Science and Science underlies the three Tenets of the Church (which is why we capitalize Science). We believe Science to be one of the best ways to understand Reality. Science is integral to the FAITH of this particular Church. So, even though believing in Science is not a formal Tenet of the Church, we really dig Science and hope you do to. Dig?
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