A Spell

Hi Dear Readers!

I hope this blog post finds you and brings you joy, insight, and/or action steps for defeating the Diabolical Forces in the Universe (DFUs).

It has been quite a spell since I posted. I could make a case that I have been busily consuming curated information on the state of the Universe, but that would be hyperbolic. I have done some of that, and I have results to share below, but I have actually been mostly busy enjoying the analog life for the past 10 days or so. A lot of outdoor bike riding and a performance at the Vegan Sausage Fest, intentionally targeted at the demise of the DFUs.

Here's what my analysis of the state of the Universe has elucidated: 1. Avoid social and mainstream media (SMSM) as much as you possibly can. It's super toxic and highly addictive, and it reprograms your brain in a very destructive way. Think of your eyeballs as the interface through which the social media algorithms enter your brain and begin the wholesale reorganization of your thought processes, including undermining your critical thinking abilities. Insidious.

Now, many of my readers will scoff at this, believing their free will and critical thinking abilities to be unimpeachable. And that's OK...science really does not care. In fact, there is a very easy way to illustrate this using the scientific method.

NULL HYPOTHESIS: SMSM does not have any ability to reprogram my critical thinking abilities.

EXPERIMENT: Expose yourself to SMSM with a sociopolitical biases toward beliefs opposite to the ones you currently hold for one month.

OUTCOME: See if your beliefs have changed after this exposure compared with baseline.

QED.

It also would not hurt to vote with your dollars by buying local at mom and pop shops and avoiding big multinational retailers.

Alright, take care.

Fin.

No Ordinary Tuesday

Hi Dear Readers!

I hope this blog post finds you and brings you joy, insight, or action steps for defeating the Diabolical Forces in the Universe (DFUs). As it turns out, reading this blog has been clinically proven to improve your physical, mental, and spiritual wellness.

It feels like a good day to me. Does it feel like a good day to you? I don't know why, but I feel like something very positive for the Cosmos will happen today. We'll see, I guess.

I'll be manifesting my usual amount of Dark Magic today. After seeing a couple of marriage and family therapy clients this morning, I will pound out a DM-generating Peloton workout directed at the demise of the high priority DFUs. As usual, I'll be generating a baseline level of DFU-defeating DM by adhering to a whole food, plant based way of eating AND abstaining from toxic social and mainstream media (SMSM).

That's a good segue into reminding you that consumption of SMSM is incredibly toxic to your mind, body, and soul. The lethal dose is about 10 minutes of exposure per day. If you simply have to consume SMSM, please limit your use to less than that! Remember that the easiest way to keep DFUs out of your life is to abstain from SMSM entirely, since that is the only access point into your life for nearly 99% of all DFUs.

Fin.

Delays

Hi Readers!

I hope this blog post finds you and brings you joy, or at least some immunity from the Diabolical Forces in the Universe (DFUs).

I am hopeful and confident that Karma is going to take care of some DFUs soon. But, it's certainly taking its sweet time!

That being said, there is a dearth of DFUs in my vicinity. So, that's good, and probably largely attributable to the Dark Magic (DM) being generated by my following of the Tenets of the Church of Bike With Joe. If you're experiencing any DFUs in your area, please consider adopting and adhering to the Tenets. It takes about 2-3 weeks for full detoxification of DFUs from your life, once you start following the Tenets with at least 80% compliance. This has been proven by Science.

I was able to get outside for a couple of long bike rides earlier this week, when the temperatures rose well above 50 degrees F. I may have landed GUPPY EFFECT v2.0 a gig on Friday 4/4 @ the Bierock in Waunakee, opening for Mudroom at their monthly First Friday Jam. My marriage and family therapy business is going great.

I'm going to go now, because I need to do a quick mindful meditation before seeing clients this morning. I'll pick up our groceries later, followed by a bike ride (hopefully outdoors, but possibly on the Peloton).

Take care!

Fin.

Action Packed

Hi Readers!

I hope this post finds you and brings you some joy, happiness, or insight.

Today will be action packed...with ROCKING! Well, that might be too strong. This morning, I will actually be JAZZING, as I hone New Orleans style jazz songs for a gig on 3/4/25. This afternoon, I will be semi-acoustically ROCKING with Stefan of GUPPY EFFECT duo fame. So, today will be action packed...with MUSIC-ING. But, that doesn't roll off the tongue quite as easily.

Yesterday, I said I would propose a wellness challenge for this coming week. I wanted to propose challenging everyone to go without any social media (SM) for a whole week. However, I realized how impossible that would be, due to the highly addictive nature of SM. Most people simply could not abstain from SM for a whole week, or even a whole day. So, instead, the challenge is: try not to actively engage with SM for a whole week. You can look at it (after all, SM advertisers are paying for your eyes). But don't like or emoji anything you see. Don't comment on things you see. Definitely DO NOT POST anything. Can you do it? Still highly doubtful. But...that is why it is a challenge. If it were easy, you would not feel challenged.

The Diabolical Forces in the Universe (DFUs) are out in force these days. Continue to intentionally practice your self care toward their demise.

Take care!

Fin.

PFUs DoRs

Hi Readers!

If you read my preemptive Tuesday post (written on Monday night), you may know that today is a blog post FREE DAY. So, instead, here's this as filler...

You'll thank me later!

Fin.

Sunday Funday

Hi Readers!

It's Sunday. So, you know what that means, right? It's also a FUN day.

I kicked it off with a whole food, plant based breakfast comprising coffee (with coconut/almond milk blend), avocado toast, and a banana. Next on the agenda is a Peloton workout of 30-60 minutes. If all goes to plan, a vegan lunch with my parents at the Crisp-n-Green is on the agenda for midday shenanigans.

Deborah and I plan to hit the Willy Street Co-op and CostCo this afternoon for some grocery essentials and possibly some vegan Thanksgiving options (likely a couple of Gardein Turk'y roasts). I have GUPPY EFFECT duo band practice with Stefan at 6 PM this evening, and I'll need to hone some of the practice material ahead of time. So, I'll probably hit the Manwich Music Mansion about 4 PM, to start said honing the quintessential semi-acoustic rock-n-roll that we produce.

That's about it for my Sunday Funday. I'll be abstaining from social and mainstream media (SMSM) by listening to music, reading Kindle books, and engaging with the real world. How about you? Leave a comment below letting us know how you will thwart Evil today.

Fin.

Un-Psychedelic Breakfast

Hi Readers!

A joyous day to you! Because you cannot have joYOUsness without YOU. Am I right?

Let's talk about FRUIT today. I am currently in the process of eating a metric pantload of the stuff for breakfast, comprising one banana, two apples, and a large but uncertain number of grapes. Damn, this stuff is filling! And it's really low calorie too. Since fruit is a plant based whole food, it's totally allowed and encouraged to be eaten by adherents of the Church of Bike With Joe. The Cosmos rewards the eating of fruit with one of the Blessings of the Church: CLEAN BLOWS. If you are curious, you can read more about clean blows HERE (and apologies in advance!). The Blessing is usually bestowed about 24-36 hours post-consumption of said fruit (or fruit salad) and it is believed to indicate that the individual has been bestowed with Cosmic (albeit temporary) protection from Evil. 

I will be seeing a handful of marriage and family therapy clients this morning, after which I will attend the monthly Systems Theory consult group meeting that I participate in semi-regularly. On my way to the meeting, I'll stop by the office to get my business mail. It's very possible this evening will comprise going to Best Buy to acquire a couple of essentials for the coming Apocalypse, including a new TV for the bedroom and possibly a standalone freezer for the basement (to hold overflow vegan pizzas).

There was (and still is) a possibility of me attending a Bombay Bicycle Club ride tomorrow - the final one of the 2024 cycling season. But the window of opportunity on that is rapidly closing, due to weather. This is probably for the best, because there was talk of getting together with my parents for lunch at the Crisp-n-Green tomorrow, and the bike ride might cut into that. So, it may be a Peloton workout at home instead. Such is life...and a good effing life it is!

Are you a member of the Church of Bike With Joe yet? There's no obligation whatsoever. It's optional, but encouraged, if you are looking for an organic lifestyle that is guaranteed to improve mental, physical, and spiritual well being (Enlightenment). I am sure there are many other ways to find Enlightenment out there. However, I have no idea what those are, and joining the Church of Bike With Joe is one of the easiest and most certain ways to achieve said goal. The Church has three basic Tenets, and if you follow them, you'll achieve ideal wellness. The Tenets are:

1. Follow a whole food (80%) plant based (100%) way of eating.

2. Exercise aerobically for at least 30 minutes every day.

3. Abstain from and avoid mental, physical, and spiritual toxins (including social and mainstream media, toxic people, and poisons like nicotine, drugs, and alcohol).

That's it. Membership in the Church is an act of DOING those three things. There are no fees or dues. There are no Church Fathers (except maybe me, since I started the gosh darn thing). There are no places of worship, other than within your own physical, mental, and spiritual lived experience (consciousness). If you adopt and integrate these Tenets into your life, you will start to notice the mental, physical, and spiritual benefits (aka, The Awakening) in about 2-3 weeks.*

Joining does not even require 100% adherence to the Tenets - just having the INTENTION to do so is enough (although Enlightenment cannot be guaranteed if you don't follow them at least a little bit). Following the Tenets should feel like the natural and authentic thing to do (at least after 2-3 weeks of following them, if not right away). And not following them should feel uncomfortable and unbalancing and destabilizing. If neither of the aforementioned things are true for you, then the Church probably isn't for you. And that's totally OK! Don't try to pound a square peg into a round hole by pursuing something that violates your authentic narrative and values. That would be a waste of time.

You may be wondering why these three things, in particular, are the Tenets of the Church of Bike With Joe. In short, these Tenets are derived from what Science has told us are the best ways to optimize wellness. 

Some have asked, "What is the most important of the three Tenets, if...say...I can only follow one of them?" The answer is the third one - avoiding toxins (especially social and mainstream media). Eating a plant based diet and daily aerobic exercise are not feasible or possible for everyone. The Church understands this and emphasizes INTENTION more than action on the first two Tenets. The third Tenet is actionable for almost everyone, because it involves NOT doing (abstaining from) something, which is achievable for just about everyone. It's easier to not do something than it is to do something (you can test this yourself...). You know, there was actually a time in the world, not too long ago, when social media did not exist and mainstream media had to be accessed ACTIVELY (it wasn't always passively ubiquitous in your life).

Nonetheless, due to Grievance Addiction, many people still find it hard to abstain from social and mainstream media (SMSM), which was literally designed by diabolical forces (in Silicon Valley) to be more addictive than heroin or nicotine [SOURCE]. If you doubt this, I challenge you to abstain from SMSM for one week...or even one full day. You'll see what I mean. And if you have already kicked the SMSM habit, great! You are well on your way to becoming a Church of Bike With Joe adherent (should you so choose).

Fin.

*NOTE: I'm not gonna lie to you...the window of opportunity to join the Church of Bike With Joe is still very wide open, as of this posting. No urgency whatsoever. If this were about marketing some kind of religious scheme to profit off of, I'd probably lie and tell you that the window of opportunity is CLOSING SOON, SO ACT FAST! Nope. It's not. And - much like Honey Badger - I honestly don't have any strong incentive to encourage you to join the Church, other than empathy (which, one could argue, is the currency of Karma). In fact, the Church really doesn't want any members who aren't INTENTIONAL about being members. As I said earlier, following the Tenets should feel like it aligns perfectly with your values and authentic self. If that's not the case, don't join. That said, it takes 2-3 weeks of following the Tenets to feel the benefits (Blessings), so give it a sporting chance if you are on the fence. But if you know healthy vegan eating, daily aerobic exercise, and avoiding toxins like SMSM are not for you, move along...nothing to see here.

As of now, there is no urgency whatsoever to join the Church of Bike With Joe. However, the window of opportunity to join very explicitly closes on January 19, 2025, a little over two months from now. You can literally join any time right up to the deadline, and it's super easy to do. As I said earlier, just INTENTIONALLY start practicing the three Tenets of the Church described above...and you're IN! Because it takes 2-3 weeks to reap the full mental, physical, and spiritual rewards of adherence to the Tenets, I would do so no later than about New Year's Eve 2024, if you plan to join (or you just want to give it a practice run). In fact, you could make joining the Church your New Year's Resolution, if you like. Most people give up on their New Year's Resolutions about 2-3 weeks into the new year anyway. So, if it ends up not being your bag, you've sacrificed nothing.

You can, of course, also join the Church after the January 19, 2025 deadline, but the Church makes no guarantee of mental, physical, and spiritual salvation on or after January 20, 2025. We also don't make any guarantee of that on or before that date either, because get real...how could anyone guarantee any such thing? However, an inability to guarantee salvation does not mean we don't KNOW it will happen. That's what FAITH is all about...knowing something with your heart and soul without any scientific evidence whatsoever. It's important to say here that the Church of Bike With Joe LOVES Science and Science underlies the three Tenets of the Church (which is why we capitalize Science). We believe Science to be one of the best ways to understand Reality. Science is integral to the FAITH of this particular Church. So, even though believing in Science is not a formal Tenet of the Church, we really dig Science and hope you do to. Dig?