The Kingdom Has Been Delayed

Hi Dear Readers!

I hope this post finds you and brings you joy, insight, and/or action steps for defeating the Diabolical Forces in the Universe (DFUs).

Ugh...bad news. The Kingdom has been delayed by an overload of DFUs effing up the Plan. This is not a Church of Bike With Joe (CoBWJ) thing; it's a Christian thing. But the CoBWJ keeps close tabs on the Christian Church (as vulnerable to DFU deception as they are!), and our goals and aspirations (at least on paper) are often aligned (i.e., to do better as human beings, collectively). The DFUs, however, continue to do poorly as human beings, and they have been multiplying at an accelerated rate - doing MUCH damage. So, the Cosmos (aka, God in some circles) has postponed the Kingdom (as the Christians call World Peace), I'm told, until humanity gets its s**t together and disenfranchises the DFUs. It's a shame, because so much progress was being made up until a little over a year ago. The Cosmos is very disappointed. But it's not rocket science...the Kingdom requires a solid foundation of positivity, love, kindness, compassion, dignity, civility, equity, and justice, and the DFUs are currently illustrating NONE of these things, significantly damaging humanity's standing in the Cosmos.

I know some of you are thinking, "That's unfair! I have been a pretty good human being. Why should I have to be penalized for the DFU's BS?"

I know, I know. But...humanity is a collective aspiration, and that's part of the problem. Humanity just isn't collaborating well at all right now. This is how the DFUs like it...but regardless, no Kingdom for you!

The fix is pretty simple though. Just disenfranchise the DFUs. It requires following the respective tenets of your respective church or religion (not perverting and bastardizing them for cruel and selfish goals). I cannot speak to the tenets of other religions or creeds, but if you are a member of the CoBWJ, it's straightforward: eat a vegan diet (huge positive karmic impact), exercise daily (relieves negativity), and abstain from all social and mainstream media (eliminates 99% of all toxicity from your life).

I have spoken. Take care!

Fin.

We Are There

Hi Dear Readers!

I hope this blog post finds you and brings you joy, insight, and/or action steps for defeating the Diabolical Forces in the Universe (DFUs). It has been a while since I have posted. I apologize for any gap or void in your joyful experience that may have been caused by that, but I do have a plausible excuse. I was waging my own personal battle with the DFUs. And I am happy to report a major victory.

We (meaning all of us protectors and advocates of Wholesome Goodness in the Cosmos (WGC)) are now officially in the Age of Positive Dark Magic (APDM). If these terms sound foreign to you and make no sense, that's because they are brand new. We have never been here before. And it is a very good spiritual place to be. Henceforth, DFU destroying DM is - as of today - pouring prolifically into this world from the Spirit Realm and wreaking chaos, havoc, and justice (karmic and legal) on the DFUs.

I am hopeful and confident I can keep the DM portal open for the next three to four weeks, which should allow enough DM into this world to finally rid us of some of the more egregious and toxic DFUs.

OK. Stay hopeful and positive. Be kind and compassionate. Do your best and don't take anything personally.* Be impeccable with your word and don't make assumptions.* If you can do all those things, victory over the DFUs is guaranteed.

Have an awesome day!

Fin.

*NOTE: The asterisked recommendations are from The Four Agreements, a great spiritual guide for happiness and wellness. The Four Agreements, broadly practiced and applied by humanity, could actually save the world.

A Spell

Hi Dear Readers!

I hope this blog post finds you and brings you joy, insight, and/or action steps for defeating the Diabolical Forces in the Universe (DFUs).

It has been quite a spell since I posted. I could make a case that I have been busily consuming curated information on the state of the Universe, but that would be hyperbolic. I have done some of that, and I have results to share below, but I have actually been mostly busy enjoying the analog life for the past 10 days or so. A lot of outdoor bike riding and a performance at the Vegan Sausage Fest, intentionally targeted at the demise of the DFUs.

Here's what my analysis of the state of the Universe has elucidated: 1. Avoid social and mainstream media (SMSM) as much as you possibly can. It's super toxic and highly addictive, and it reprograms your brain in a very destructive way. Think of your eyeballs as the interface through which the social media algorithms enter your brain and begin the wholesale reorganization of your thought processes, including undermining your critical thinking abilities. Insidious.

Now, many of my readers will scoff at this, believing their free will and critical thinking abilities to be unimpeachable. And that's OK...science really does not care. In fact, there is a very easy way to illustrate this using the scientific method.

NULL HYPOTHESIS: SMSM does not have any ability to reprogram my critical thinking abilities.

EXPERIMENT: Expose yourself to SMSM with a sociopolitical biases toward beliefs opposite to the ones you currently hold for one month.

OUTCOME: See if your beliefs have changed after this exposure compared with baseline.

QED.

It also would not hurt to vote with your dollars by buying local at mom and pop shops and avoiding big multinational retailers.

Alright, take care.

Fin.

Unfriend the Zone

Hi Dear Readers!

I hope this blog post finds you and brings you joy, insight, and/or actionable TO DOs for disenfranchising the Diabolical Forces in the Universe (DFUs) from your life.

There is apparently an epidemic of grievance going around, promulgated by a handful of DFUs under the moniker of "flooding the zone [with s**t]." The DFUs behind the aforementioned epidemic have tapped into the public's social media addiction, piggybacking on that epidemic to ensure that they can firehose all this s**t down people's proverbial throats (You have, I'm sure, heard of the "mind's eye," right? Well, I am referring here to the mind's throat). If you are tuning in to social and mainstream media (SMSM), you are in this metaphorical zone and vulnerable to the tsunami of s**t that these DFUs are flooding it with.

Here's the thing though...you can exit the zone. Yeah, I know...crazy right? You may not know it, but you can simply step out of the zone and let these DFUs drown in their own s**t, while you are liberated from it. All you have to do is abstain from SMSM.

I did not say it would be EASY. Addiction is hard to break. But it's totally within your power to choose to simply leave the zone.

Take care.

Fin

No Ordinary Tuesday

Hi Dear Readers!

I hope this blog post finds you and brings you joy, insight, or action steps for defeating the Diabolical Forces in the Universe (DFUs). As it turns out, reading this blog has been clinically proven to improve your physical, mental, and spiritual wellness.

It feels like a good day to me. Does it feel like a good day to you? I don't know why, but I feel like something very positive for the Cosmos will happen today. We'll see, I guess.

I'll be manifesting my usual amount of Dark Magic today. After seeing a couple of marriage and family therapy clients this morning, I will pound out a DM-generating Peloton workout directed at the demise of the high priority DFUs. As usual, I'll be generating a baseline level of DFU-defeating DM by adhering to a whole food, plant based way of eating AND abstaining from toxic social and mainstream media (SMSM).

That's a good segue into reminding you that consumption of SMSM is incredibly toxic to your mind, body, and soul. The lethal dose is about 10 minutes of exposure per day. If you simply have to consume SMSM, please limit your use to less than that! Remember that the easiest way to keep DFUs out of your life is to abstain from SMSM entirely, since that is the only access point into your life for nearly 99% of all DFUs.

Fin.

4 Days

Hi Dear Readers!

Happy Wednesday! I hope this blog post finds you and brings you joy, insight, or action items for defeating the Diabolical Forces in the Universe (DFUs). And if not, well...I still hope you are thriving in the midst of the chaos.

Here it is...Day 9 of the 12 Days to the Demise of the DFUs, a high holiday of the Church of Bike With Joe (BWJ). 4 days to go...including today (thus the title of this post).

Saturday is the last day of the 12 Days. It's a magnificent day of celebration and, if the prophecies are true, it is the day when the DFUs will be karmically disenfranchised from the world. This may correlate with the prophesied rising of a lesser known mythical religious figure who will lead the world to salvation. So, we shall see...

In any case, the predicted demise of the DFUs notwithstanding, Saturday is the first day of the Dane County Farmers Market on the Capitol Square in Madison WI. Deborah and I plan to attend. This weekend is also the observed weekend of Deborah's and my wedding anniversary (8 years, if anyone is wondering). A reminder that Memorial Day weekend 2025 is the 10 year anniversary of our chance but fortuitous meeting.

Today comprises at least three action items. Per usual, I will see several of my marriage and family therapy clients throughout the course of the day. Around noon, I will pick up our grocery order at Festival Foods before taking my parents to see another senior living home. I'll see a couple more therapy clients in the evening to round out the day. I'm also going to try to make a batch of this awesome falafel, time permitting.

Leave a comment below about how your 12 Days are going. Any obstacles? Any successes?

Take care and remain hopeful and vigilant.

Fin.

8 Days

Hi Dear Readers!

I hope this post finds you and brings you joy, peace, or action steps for defeating the Diabolical Forces in the Universe (DFUs).

As the founder and leader of the Church of Bike With Joe, I am currently fasting from social and mainstream media (SMSM) for the church's high holiday of 12 Days to the Demise of the DFUs, which proscribes 12 days of fasting from SMSM from April 1 to April 12. As such, I have not been privvy to the goings on in the larger Cosmos. That being said, I hear tell from reliable sources that the DFUs are, predictably, suffering major losses and nearing their demise, as would be predicted by the Prophecies of the Church. April 12 will be a glorious day indeed.

I checked in with one of my non-SMSM sources about the state of the stock market. As predicted, all stocks are down...except beer. Beer does well in good times (celebration) or bad (drowning sorrows). It's a solid and stable stock. Buy shares in beer!

It's the weekend in Australia right now. I have to see a few marriage and family therapy clients on Saturday morning, and then Deborah and I will be perusing a big film festival going on in our area.

That's all I got. Take care!

Fin.

12 Days

Hi Readers!

Today was the first day of the Church of BWJ's 12 Days to the Demise of the Diabolical Forces in the Universe (DFUs). Since it's a countdown to said Demise, we start on Day 12 and count down the consecutive days until April 12 (Day 1). And on Day 0, we feast in celebration of defeating the DFUs).

The 12 Days are celebrated with INTENTIONAL fasting from Social and Mainstream Media (SMSM). It's kind of like not eating meat for Lent or whatever. But Church of BWJ adherents don't eat meat anyway. So, instead we fast from toxicity. I was completely SMSM free today, and it was great. In Church Lore it is believed that this SMSM fasting deprives the DFUs of their life force, making them susceptible the the Dark Magic that ultimately destroys them.

Fin.

13 Days

Hi Readers!

I hope this blog post finds you and brings you joy, insight, or action items to defeat the Diabolical Forces in the Universe (DFUs).

As some of you may know, it is the Eve of the 12 Days to the Demise of the DFUs (DD). If sources are to be believed, the DFUs will experience a major setback on April 12, 2025 (or, alternatively, the Forces of Good (FoG) will experience a major victory. In honor of this, we here at the Church of BWJ will be participating in intensive intentions intended to bring about the DD.

Tune in starting tomorrow for ideas about ways you can intentionally help bring about the DD.

Fin.

What Intention is Doing for You Today

Hi Readers! 

I hope this blog post finds you and brings you joy, enlightenment, or freedom from the Diabolical Forces in the Universe (DFUs).

I don't have much time for my check in with you today, because a Peloton "Triple Bypass" workout awaits me in a few minutes, and I have to squeeze it in before I start work seeing marriage and family therapy clients today.

I just wanted to let you know what the Dark Magic (DM) Intention is manifesting for you today: disenfranchisement of DFUs from your life. You're welcome.

I'll also share what the DFUs are not going to enjoy today as a result of that intention: peace, happiness, the runner's high, love, contentment, a healthy diet, and positive feedback. There are probably some other things they will be denied. But that list is ample.

Take care!

Fin.

Delays

Hi Readers!

I hope this blog post finds you and brings you joy, or at least some immunity from the Diabolical Forces in the Universe (DFUs).

I am hopeful and confident that Karma is going to take care of some DFUs soon. But, it's certainly taking its sweet time!

That being said, there is a dearth of DFUs in my vicinity. So, that's good, and probably largely attributable to the Dark Magic (DM) being generated by my following of the Tenets of the Church of Bike With Joe. If you're experiencing any DFUs in your area, please consider adopting and adhering to the Tenets. It takes about 2-3 weeks for full detoxification of DFUs from your life, once you start following the Tenets with at least 80% compliance. This has been proven by Science.

I was able to get outside for a couple of long bike rides earlier this week, when the temperatures rose well above 50 degrees F. I may have landed GUPPY EFFECT v2.0 a gig on Friday 4/4 @ the Bierock in Waunakee, opening for Mudroom at their monthly First Friday Jam. My marriage and family therapy business is going great.

I'm going to go now, because I need to do a quick mindful meditation before seeing clients this morning. I'll pick up our groceries later, followed by a bike ride (hopefully outdoors, but possibly on the Peloton).

Take care!

Fin.

Welcome to the Weekend Again

Hi Dear Readers!

I hope this blog post finds you and brings you joy, insight, and/or immunity from the measles and bird flu.

The Diabolical Forces in the Universe (DFUs) are gaining strength rapidly. That's probably because not enough people have joined the Church of Bike with Joe (CoBWJ) or at least adopted its Three Tenets. Science has concluded that this is the only way to disenfranchise DFUs from your life and counteract their destructive forces. I am but a mere messenger of the CoBWJ. The rest depends on YOU!

Alright, my PSA is complete. What else? I don't know. It's the weekend again, which seems to be the principle window of opportunity for me to share my experiential interaction with the Cosmos. This particular weekend is proving to be less intensive and action packed than I had anticipated. I was supposed to have a New Orleans Jazz gig this coming Tuesday (aka, Fat Tuesday = Mardi Gras). However, that fell through due to plague (the essential guitarist of the planned quartet was laid low by some kind of horrible infectious disease). Because the gig was slated to be performed at a senior living complex, we collectively deemed it best not to introduce the plague to the immunologically vulnerable inhabitants of said complex, despite said guitarist being "on the Mend," so to speak, as of this writing. So, no gig means no practice for said gig. The group was supposed to rehearse last night, so my Friday evening unexpectedly opened up, allowing Deborah and I to watch an overrated episode of "Severance" and the newest movie in Marvel's "Venom" franchise. Having only about an 85% proficiency in the jazz repertoire slated for the gig, I had also planned to spend a few hours today and tomorrow honing material. I will probably carve out an hour or two to do that anyway, because it's just good fun and skill building. But, the urgency of it has been lifted, and that actually feels pretty good. Despite the absence of a looming jazz gig, GUPPY EFFECT acoustic duo (with Stefan Boerboom on guitar and backing vocals) is still slated to rehearse tomorrow (Sunday) afternoon. That group - comprising Stefan and me - has its next gig on Saturday May 24th, at the Vegan Sausage Fest.

What else? Deborah and I are currently leaning TOWARD emigration to Australia, or at least toward obtaining her partner visa and permanent residency (I'm already an Aussie citizen), should sociopolitical circumstances require us to move to Melbourne. We do not make this decision lightly. But when a country becomes an abuser and malignant sociopathic narcissist toward its people, there are only two options for the abused: 1. stay and suffer further abuse and likely death OR 2. escape and disenfranchise the abuser. There is a third option, which comprises the abuser being arrested and jailed, but that one is currently not feasible. Anyway, today we dug out all our necessary documents and paperwork to begin the lengthy and costly administrative process of getting Deborah her partner visa and permanent residency in Australia.

What else? Not much. I am about to complete one of the daily Tenets of the CoBWJ, a 60 minute Peloton workout. After that, I may practice some New Orleans Jazz tunes just because I can.

Alright. I am glad we got to spend this asynchronous time together. Have a great weekend!

Fin.

The Cosmos

Hi Readers!

I hope this blog post finds you and brings you joy, positivity, and/or insight. It's a dark time...and I don't mean that metaphorically. As I look outside, it's actually a dark time, with dusk fast approaching and a gray sky (currently unleashing something of a blizzard, which is not unusual for this time of the year). The daylight is waning fast. I just finished a solid Peloton workout and took a nice hot shower, so I am feeling great! Not only that, I also found the time and will power to shovel some snow off of the back deck, so that the dogs, Nyah and Ziggy, have easier access to the yard when they go out to potty. I think Nyah used to live in Texas, and so I don't think she has had much, if any, exposure to snow or cold. However, she seems to love it. Because, when I had her out in the yard a few minutes ago, she went into turbo mode, racing around the yard in apparent glee as she churned up the light and fluffy snow (light and fluffy bodes well for the marathon of snow blowing I very likely have to do in the morning. Although, we have "a guy" now...so there is a non-zero probability I won't have to snow blow at all...but I think it is very small probability indeed).

I'm not sure what to write about, beyond what I just wrote about, so I am going to simply jump right in. In the theology and traditions of the Church of BWJ, The Cosmos is the source of all positivity and the so-called power of positive thinking. The way adherents of the Church of BWJ harness and manifest this Cosmic power is through INTENTION - linking positive action with an OUTCOME. Sometimes, but not always, the intentional positive action is directly linked to the outcome. For example, by intentionally eating healthy and exercising daily, the desired outcome is positive health and wellness, and the cause and effect is well established. There is also a direct link between the intentional eating of a plant based vegan diet and the positive outcome of protecting the planet from climate change. This link, while supported by science, manifests on a more collective scale, because the output power of the vegan diet for individuals is fairly low. It requires a minion (aka, a lot) of people (ideally several million to a billion) to be vegan to really manifest a reduction in global warming and harmful climate change, perpetrated by the Diabolical Forces of the Universe (DFUs). Unfortunately, the Church of BWJ is a very individualistic religion, positing that adherents only have control over their own actions and the consequent outcomes of those actions. So, to summarize, eating a vegan diet has a strong positive effect on the outcome of individual health and wellness. It has a much weaker (albeit non-zero) effect on the scale of the entire planet and climate change.

I want to end this post by circling back to the intentional actions that are indirectly related to positive outcomes. For example, an indirect positive outcome is the disenfranchisement and demise of the Diabolical Forces in the Universe (DFUs) that make everyone's life worse. The intentional action used to manifest this positive outcome is adherence to the Three Tenets of the Church of BWJ, which have a collective amplifying effect on each other (the more of them you do, the better...and the more people that do them collectively, the better): 1. Eating a whole food (80%), plant based (100%) diet. 2. Aerobically exercising daily for a minimum of 30 minutes. 3. Fasting from toxins (including mostly toxic social and mainstream media). We encourage you to do these three things and help bring about the demise of the DFUs. Thanks!

Fin.