9 Days

Hi Dear Readers!

I hope this post finds you and brings you joy, peace, and/or action steps toward the demise of the Diabolical Forces in the Universe (DFUs).

Speaking of that, we are now in the single digits of the countdown for the 12 Days to the Demise of the DFUs, one of the high holidays of the Church of BWJ. Only 9 days (including today) remain. If you recall, the basic (but not easy) ritual of this holiday is to abstain from all social and mainstream media (SMSM) from April Fools Day until April 12 - almost a fortnight. This fasting from the poison of SMSM detoxifies the mind, body, and soul, resulting in disenfranchisement of the DFUs from your life (and - ideally - everyone's life!).

This festive holiday is loosely correlated with the Easter holiday observed by the other (arguably less cool) churches and religions of the world. And it serves roughly the same purpose - to restore and rejuvenate good moral values and ethical goals, by bringing back the First Principles of Wholesome Goodness (FPWGs). The DFUs despise the FPWGs and they work very hard to undermine them, using SMSM as the media for their diabolical agenda. So, by abstaining from SMSM dutifully for the proscribed 12 days, you are effectively immune to the toxicity of the DFUs, disempowering them and making them vulnerable to the karmic forces that will be their undoing (aka, demise). I won't lie, abstaining from SMSM is no easy task. The stuff is highly addictive and hard to quit, which is perhaps why most people continue living in a chronic state of suffering and toxic grievance (the main symptoms of chronic SMSM consumption).

Yesterday (Day 10 of the holiday) was a lighter marriage and family therapy counseling day for me. I had my Mindfulness for Therapists class in the morning, followed by a couple of client sessions in the early afternoon. Then I pounded out 40 solid minutes on the Peloton before whipping up a vegan pizza for dinner (I embellished a Salvatore's frozen vegan pie with diced yellow peppers, canned mushrooms, and a heavy helping of Miyokos liquid vegan mozzarella cheese...so good!). It fills me with no small measure of joy that the DFUs will never know the glory of a Salvatore's vegan pie thusly embellished. But they made their bed, so that's all I have to say about that. 

After dinner, Deborah and I drove across town to see if we could catch a Wisconsin Film Fest film at the Barrymore Theater. We could not, because the line was ridic long and - on principle - Deborah and I do not do ridic long lines. Instead, we popped into the nearby Bar Corallini for an overpriced vegan dessert, then went back home.

All of the above happened with ZERO consumption of SMSM. It feels pretty f**kin' good to be free of that s**t.

Fin.

10 Days

Hi Dear Readers!

It's Day 3 (April 3rd) of the 12 Days to the Demise of the Diabolical Forces in the Universe (DFUs), a high holiday of the Church of BWJ. Only 10 days (including today) remain and then we can all celebrate the absence of DFUs and live in harmony, contentment, and peace for the remainder of the year. This aligns with the dharmic concept of Radical Acceptance, leading to the alleviation of suffering. Ideally, this is a collective alleviation of suffering (if we all participate in the 12 days!). However, it may be an individual alleviation of suffering, and that's cool too. 

How is your fasting from all social and mainstream media (SMSM) going? Any intentions you have set around it? I mean...besides the demise of DFUs, of course.

I got a whopping 55 minutes in on the Peloton bike yesterday, in addition to some sit ups and dumbbells, by way of SMSM avoidance.

Yay!

Fin.

11 Days

Hi Dear Readers!

It's Day 2 of the 12 Days to the Demise of the Diabolical Forces in the Universe (DFUs). That means 11 days remaining of the longest high holiday of the Church of BWJ. The holiday is celebrated with complete abstinence from social and mainstream media (SMSM) starting on April Fool's Day and going for almost a fortnight thereafter.

How are you celebrating it?

Fin.

12 Days

Hi Readers!

Today was the first day of the Church of BWJ's 12 Days to the Demise of the Diabolical Forces in the Universe (DFUs). Since it's a countdown to said Demise, we start on Day 12 and count down the consecutive days until April 12 (Day 1). And on Day 0, we feast in celebration of defeating the DFUs).

The 12 Days are celebrated with INTENTIONAL fasting from Social and Mainstream Media (SMSM). It's kind of like not eating meat for Lent or whatever. But Church of BWJ adherents don't eat meat anyway. So, instead we fast from toxicity. I was completely SMSM free today, and it was great. In Church Lore it is believed that this SMSM fasting deprives the DFUs of their life force, making them susceptible the the Dark Magic that ultimately destroys them.

Fin.

13 Days

Hi Readers!

I hope this blog post finds you and brings you joy, insight, or action items to defeat the Diabolical Forces in the Universe (DFUs).

As some of you may know, it is the Eve of the 12 Days to the Demise of the DFUs (DD). If sources are to be believed, the DFUs will experience a major setback on April 12, 2025 (or, alternatively, the Forces of Good (FoG) will experience a major victory. In honor of this, we here at the Church of BWJ will be participating in intensive intentions intended to bring about the DD.

Tune in starting tomorrow for ideas about ways you can intentionally help bring about the DD.

Fin.

Good Vibes

Hi Dear Readers!

I hope this blog post finds you and brings you joy, insight, and/or actionable ways to undermine and disenfranchise the Diabolical Forces in the Universe (DFUs).

I had a whopping good weekend. What about you? Friday afternoon, if you recall, I did not see any of my marriage and family therapy clients, because I had a doctor's appointment with an ear, nose, and throat (ENT) specialist, comprising a hearing test and a consult with said ENT specialist about the so called pulsatile tinnitus that I have been having. As expected and predicted, I got a clean bill of health. My hearing is fairly normal for my age and there are no identifiable causes of the pulsatile tinnitus. I guess it just happens in some people. I'm writing this post on Monday morning (albeit backdated to Sunday morning) and I am not currently experiencing the condition. It tends to be more noticeable when I am stressing my cardiovascular system, such as with exercise. But I can sometimes also hear it when things are very quiet around me, and right now I have on the Spa Channel on Sirius XM in the background.

Anyway, I finished up with ENT around 3:30 PM, and since Deborah got off work about 4 PM and we were both near downtown and I had ridden my bike to ENT because it was a nice day...we decided to meet for dinner at Salvatore's on East Washington, which we did and it was enjoyable. After dinner, I threw my bike into the back of Deborah's car and we drove home for a relaxed evening.

Saturday...now that was an action packed day! We took my parents to brunch around 10 AM at Everly, by way of picking up our Powered by Plants (PbP) merchandise from Beth Skogen (the organizer and trademark holder of PbP) at a nearby location that had been predetermined earlier in the week. After brunch, we visited CostCo and UW Provisions for a variety of super-sized staples. Returning to our home, after dropping my folks off at their home, we unloaded the bounty acquired at the stores we had visited, and then exercised. I got a nice long Peloton workout in, with INTENTION (the demise of DFUs). I can't recall what happened thereafter, but it was for sure good.

On Sunday, the pace was a bit more laid back. I went with Deborah to water the plants at the homes of her sister and mom, respectively. Returning home, I pounded out another DFU-busting Peloton workout before honing a triad of songs on bass guitar for the afternoon band practice with GUPPY EFFECT semi-acoustic duo, comprising me and Stefan Boerboom, which transpired forthwith. The jams were tasty. We woodshedded our arrangements of Chop Suey by System of a Down, Silly Love Songs by Wings, and Heading for the Light by the Traveling Wilburys, and the vocal harmonies were tasty.

I will admit that I did overeat a bit on the weekend, thus granting the DFUs a little respite from the non-stop Dark Magic (DM) I have been fairly consistently fire hosing them with the past few months. But the fire hosing returns with a vengeance today, starting with a fast until early afternoon. I plan to jump on the Peloton later this morning, after seeing my first mental health client in a little bit. Not entirely sure what all the rest of the day will bring, but I am fairly certain it will bring a few more psychotherapy clients.

Alright, you all take care of yourselves, and - if you want to - leave a comment below this post about what intentional actions you are taking today to undermine and disenfranchise the DFUs.

Ciao!

Fin.

Spa Time

Hi Dear Readers!

I hope this blog post finds you and brings you joy, insight, or protection from the Diabolical Forces in the Universe (DFUs). 

Today is a SPA DAY, although not in the traditional sense most of you are probably conceptualizing right now. This is more of a DIY spa day. The goal is to minimize stress and maximize self care, relaxation, positivity, detoxification, and things of this nature. Most of all, it's a day to keep the DFUs disenfranchised from my life. I encourage my readers and adherents of the Church of Bike With Joe to actualize their own spa day today, whatever that might look like. Do it intentionally.

The DFUs have been potent of late, with no signs of slowing down. So, remember...following the Three Tenets of the Church of BWJ manifests DFU-defeating Dark Magic (DM). That's Church speak for manifesting positivity, happiness, kindness, altruism, joy, compassion, peace, detoxification, and other good things in the universe via INTENTION (positive action), which will by the very nature of the thing countervail* the DFUs' bad intentions (negative actions). It sometimes helps to visualize a specific DFU for which to manifest neutralizing DM/INTENTION, thereby focusing it on a particularly diabolical FU.

I've already begun my DM INTENTION for the day, by drinking a healthy smoothie and asking Alexa to play the Spa music channel on Sirius XM. Shortly, I'll pound out a substantial and invigorating Peloton workout (directed at a specific DFU that everyone hates...you're welcome!), after doing a few relaxing stretches. Some time around noonish, Deborah and I are going to manifest some "Negentropy" (a fun, cool, new term I learned yesterday at my Systems Theory consult group) by spending an hour compiling and uploading tax documents electronically to our accountant's secure database. I've got a couple hours of musical jams scheduled with Stefan of GUPPY EFFECT from 3 to 5 PM, after which I will drop my car off at the Kia dealership ahead of some servicing it is going to receive tomorrow. Then it will be a relaxing evening of decompression and chillaxin'.

That's about all I got for today. Again, I hope you'll join me in some intentional DFU-busting DM today, but totally fine if you've got other things planned. Just know that positive DM increases exponentially as more people engage in it. So, a little bit goes a long way. Leave a comment below, if you are participating in DM today or have any questions or concerns about how to do it. There really is no wrong way to do it, as long as it is positive and detoxifying and disenfranchises the DFUs from your life for a spell.

Take care!

Fin.

*NOTE: Countervail means "offset the effect of (something) by countering it with something of equal force."

What Intention is Doing for You Today

Hi Readers! 

I hope this blog post finds you and brings you joy, enlightenment, or freedom from the Diabolical Forces in the Universe (DFUs).

I don't have much time for my check in with you today, because a Peloton "Triple Bypass" workout awaits me in a few minutes, and I have to squeeze it in before I start work seeing marriage and family therapy clients today.

I just wanted to let you know what the Dark Magic (DM) Intention is manifesting for you today: disenfranchisement of DFUs from your life. You're welcome.

I'll also share what the DFUs are not going to enjoy today as a result of that intention: peace, happiness, the runner's high, love, contentment, a healthy diet, and positive feedback. There are probably some other things they will be denied. But that list is ample.

Take care!

Fin.

Delays

Hi Readers!

I hope this blog post finds you and brings you joy, or at least some immunity from the Diabolical Forces in the Universe (DFUs).

I am hopeful and confident that Karma is going to take care of some DFUs soon. But, it's certainly taking its sweet time!

That being said, there is a dearth of DFUs in my vicinity. So, that's good, and probably largely attributable to the Dark Magic (DM) being generated by my following of the Tenets of the Church of Bike With Joe. If you're experiencing any DFUs in your area, please consider adopting and adhering to the Tenets. It takes about 2-3 weeks for full detoxification of DFUs from your life, once you start following the Tenets with at least 80% compliance. This has been proven by Science.

I was able to get outside for a couple of long bike rides earlier this week, when the temperatures rose well above 50 degrees F. I may have landed GUPPY EFFECT v2.0 a gig on Friday 4/4 @ the Bierock in Waunakee, opening for Mudroom at their monthly First Friday Jam. My marriage and family therapy business is going great.

I'm going to go now, because I need to do a quick mindful meditation before seeing clients this morning. I'll pick up our groceries later, followed by a bike ride (hopefully outdoors, but possibly on the Peloton).

Take care!

Fin.

Horse

Hi Readers!

I hope this post finds you and brings you joy, positivity, and/or action items.

It's a quick one...just a reminder to vote with your dollars by boycotting large corporations, drive less, buy local, and abstain from social media.

Ciao!

Fin.

Quicky Post

Hi Readers!

I hope this blog post finds you and brings you joy, insight, and/or action items.

The evidence keeps pouring in that social media (SM) is highly addictive and mentally, physically, and spiritually toxic. I cannot stress enough how mission critical it is to your life and well being that you boycott, disenfranchise, and abstain from SM. I am well aware that SM's addictiveness makes it virtually impossible for most people to quit it (if you doubt this, it's easy to test that thesis: try quitting it for a week. No? There you go...QED). However, I am not interested in most people. I am interested in YOU, if you are someone who recognizes the destructiveness of SM to all that is good in the world.

My mission to help people quit SM and reclaim their lives and well beings is a bit of a David vs Goliath effort, since the SM algorithms screen for and suppress blog posts like this one. That's why I start most of my posts with "I hope this blog post finds you..." Because, it probably won't. If, however, this post did reach you, leave a COMMENT below.

Have a wonderful day!

Fin.

Boycotting

Hi Readers!

I hope this blog post finds you and brings you joy, insight, and/or action items.

Last Friday - I believe it was Friday February 28th - a number of you "boycotted" large multinational corporate retailers and some other s**t, in a largely failed attempt to disenfranchise the Diabolical Forces in the Universe (DFUs...of which large multinational corporate retailers comprise a big part). But what you mostly didn't boycott was the one thing that would have had an actual impact on the DFUs - SOCIAL MEDIA. And do you want to know why you didn't boycott social media? I'm not going to dance around this issue...it is because YOU ARE ADDICTED TO IT. No shame/no blame...it's addictive f**kin' s**t: SOURCE.

Now, that last paragraph likely disenfranchised a number of readers of this post from reading any further. And that's OK. But if you are still reading, I am going to share the failsafe formula for sticking it to THE MAN, if you are the type of person for whom sticking it to THE MAN is a noble goal. Before I lay it out, a bit of preamble: The DFUs don't care about you. They care about profits. They are not immoral (willfully undermining morality)...they are amoral (lack the capacity for morality). The way most DFUs encourage you to funnel money toward them is through advertising and addiction. Both of these mechanisms are integral to SOCIAL MEDIA and in our modern age, 80%+ of DFU advertising is via social media, which is why there are actual companies in Silicon Valley that are paid by social media companies to make social media as addictive as possible. Social media is free for most of you to use because the advertisers are paying for your eyeballs: SOURCE.

Enough said. Here's the formula: Vote with your dollars by boycotting large multinational corporate retailers whenever you can. Perfection is not the goal, just significant change. Buy from local "mom and pop" shoppes whenever you can afford to. Travel less (and use public transit, bike, or walk when possible), to avoid paying as much for gas. Buy groceries from local grocers and ideally join a Community Supported Agriculture (CSA) farm and shop at farmer's markets. I can almost guarantee that no matter where you live in the world, there is a CSA nearby.

That's mostly all you have to do to stick it to THE MAN.

Fin.

Welcome to the Weekend Again

Hi Dear Readers!

I hope this blog post finds you and brings you joy, insight, and/or immunity from the measles and bird flu.

The Diabolical Forces in the Universe (DFUs) are gaining strength rapidly. That's probably because not enough people have joined the Church of Bike with Joe (CoBWJ) or at least adopted its Three Tenets. Science has concluded that this is the only way to disenfranchise DFUs from your life and counteract their destructive forces. I am but a mere messenger of the CoBWJ. The rest depends on YOU!

Alright, my PSA is complete. What else? I don't know. It's the weekend again, which seems to be the principle window of opportunity for me to share my experiential interaction with the Cosmos. This particular weekend is proving to be less intensive and action packed than I had anticipated. I was supposed to have a New Orleans Jazz gig this coming Tuesday (aka, Fat Tuesday = Mardi Gras). However, that fell through due to plague (the essential guitarist of the planned quartet was laid low by some kind of horrible infectious disease). Because the gig was slated to be performed at a senior living complex, we collectively deemed it best not to introduce the plague to the immunologically vulnerable inhabitants of said complex, despite said guitarist being "on the Mend," so to speak, as of this writing. So, no gig means no practice for said gig. The group was supposed to rehearse last night, so my Friday evening unexpectedly opened up, allowing Deborah and I to watch an overrated episode of "Severance" and the newest movie in Marvel's "Venom" franchise. Having only about an 85% proficiency in the jazz repertoire slated for the gig, I had also planned to spend a few hours today and tomorrow honing material. I will probably carve out an hour or two to do that anyway, because it's just good fun and skill building. But, the urgency of it has been lifted, and that actually feels pretty good. Despite the absence of a looming jazz gig, GUPPY EFFECT acoustic duo (with Stefan Boerboom on guitar and backing vocals) is still slated to rehearse tomorrow (Sunday) afternoon. That group - comprising Stefan and me - has its next gig on Saturday May 24th, at the Vegan Sausage Fest.

What else? Deborah and I are currently leaning TOWARD emigration to Australia, or at least toward obtaining her partner visa and permanent residency (I'm already an Aussie citizen), should sociopolitical circumstances require us to move to Melbourne. We do not make this decision lightly. But when a country becomes an abuser and malignant sociopathic narcissist toward its people, there are only two options for the abused: 1. stay and suffer further abuse and likely death OR 2. escape and disenfranchise the abuser. There is a third option, which comprises the abuser being arrested and jailed, but that one is currently not feasible. Anyway, today we dug out all our necessary documents and paperwork to begin the lengthy and costly administrative process of getting Deborah her partner visa and permanent residency in Australia.

What else? Not much. I am about to complete one of the daily Tenets of the CoBWJ, a 60 minute Peloton workout. After that, I may practice some New Orleans Jazz tunes just because I can.

Alright. I am glad we got to spend this asynchronous time together. Have a great weekend!

Fin.

Action Packed

Hi Readers!

I hope this post finds you and brings you some joy, happiness, or insight.

Today will be action packed...with ROCKING! Well, that might be too strong. This morning, I will actually be JAZZING, as I hone New Orleans style jazz songs for a gig on 3/4/25. This afternoon, I will be semi-acoustically ROCKING with Stefan of GUPPY EFFECT duo fame. So, today will be action packed...with MUSIC-ING. But, that doesn't roll off the tongue quite as easily.

Yesterday, I said I would propose a wellness challenge for this coming week. I wanted to propose challenging everyone to go without any social media (SM) for a whole week. However, I realized how impossible that would be, due to the highly addictive nature of SM. Most people simply could not abstain from SM for a whole week, or even a whole day. So, instead, the challenge is: try not to actively engage with SM for a whole week. You can look at it (after all, SM advertisers are paying for your eyes). But don't like or emoji anything you see. Don't comment on things you see. Definitely DO NOT POST anything. Can you do it? Still highly doubtful. But...that is why it is a challenge. If it were easy, you would not feel challenged.

The Diabolical Forces in the Universe (DFUs) are out in force these days. Continue to intentionally practice your self care toward their demise.

Take care!

Fin.

Weekender

Hi Dear Readers!

It's the weekend, and I hope this blog post finds you and brings you some joy, insight, or freedom.

I was thinking it might be fun to propose a weekly challenge each week and then challenge people to complete it. I don't have any challenge ideas right now at this moment, but it's only Saturday. So, I'll think on it and propose an idea tomorrow. Hopefully...

But if you have ideas, share in the COMMENTS.

Fin.

The Cosmos

Hi Readers!

I hope this blog post finds you and brings you joy, positivity, and/or insight. It's a dark time...and I don't mean that metaphorically. As I look outside, it's actually a dark time, with dusk fast approaching and a gray sky (currently unleashing something of a blizzard, which is not unusual for this time of the year). The daylight is waning fast. I just finished a solid Peloton workout and took a nice hot shower, so I am feeling great! Not only that, I also found the time and will power to shovel some snow off of the back deck, so that the dogs, Nyah and Ziggy, have easier access to the yard when they go out to potty. I think Nyah used to live in Texas, and so I don't think she has had much, if any, exposure to snow or cold. However, she seems to love it. Because, when I had her out in the yard a few minutes ago, she went into turbo mode, racing around the yard in apparent glee as she churned up the light and fluffy snow (light and fluffy bodes well for the marathon of snow blowing I very likely have to do in the morning. Although, we have "a guy" now...so there is a non-zero probability I won't have to snow blow at all...but I think it is very small probability indeed).

I'm not sure what to write about, beyond what I just wrote about, so I am going to simply jump right in. In the theology and traditions of the Church of BWJ, The Cosmos is the source of all positivity and the so-called power of positive thinking. The way adherents of the Church of BWJ harness and manifest this Cosmic power is through INTENTION - linking positive action with an OUTCOME. Sometimes, but not always, the intentional positive action is directly linked to the outcome. For example, by intentionally eating healthy and exercising daily, the desired outcome is positive health and wellness, and the cause and effect is well established. There is also a direct link between the intentional eating of a plant based vegan diet and the positive outcome of protecting the planet from climate change. This link, while supported by science, manifests on a more collective scale, because the output power of the vegan diet for individuals is fairly low. It requires a minion (aka, a lot) of people (ideally several million to a billion) to be vegan to really manifest a reduction in global warming and harmful climate change, perpetrated by the Diabolical Forces of the Universe (DFUs). Unfortunately, the Church of BWJ is a very individualistic religion, positing that adherents only have control over their own actions and the consequent outcomes of those actions. So, to summarize, eating a vegan diet has a strong positive effect on the outcome of individual health and wellness. It has a much weaker (albeit non-zero) effect on the scale of the entire planet and climate change.

I want to end this post by circling back to the intentional actions that are indirectly related to positive outcomes. For example, an indirect positive outcome is the disenfranchisement and demise of the Diabolical Forces in the Universe (DFUs) that make everyone's life worse. The intentional action used to manifest this positive outcome is adherence to the Three Tenets of the Church of BWJ, which have a collective amplifying effect on each other (the more of them you do, the better...and the more people that do them collectively, the better): 1. Eating a whole food (80%), plant based (100%) diet. 2. Aerobically exercising daily for a minimum of 30 minutes. 3. Fasting from toxins (including mostly toxic social and mainstream media). We encourage you to do these three things and help bring about the demise of the DFUs. Thanks!

Fin.

I Should Probably Post Something

Hi Readers!

I hope this blog post finds you and brings you joy, happiness, and/or utility.

After we got back from our trip Down Under, Deborah and I spent some time exploring the possibility of possibly moving to Melbourne to live for a few years, if Deborah can get a Partner Visa (I am already an Aussie citizen, due to being born there). There are numerous reasons for this. We did some research and met with an Australian immigration lawyer who told us we'd probably get approved, but it would not be cheap. We are not planning to act on this information just yet (many obstacles, including dogs and family constraints). But if America continues its current slide into ridiculousness and oblivion, we could execute The Plan, if things get just too far out of control. I'm ready to make the move now. I think it would be great, but I am respecting Deborah's wishes, because I can go either way (with my dual citizenship). I'd work through the obstacles methodically. None are insurmountable.

In the meanwhile, I am fully back into the flow of my marriage and family therapy practice now. I'm slated to play a jazz gig in a few weeks, on March 4th, and I need to establish some weekly rehearsal time on that. I'm excited for it. Stefan and I jammed GUPPY EFFECT v2.0 (semi-acoustic incarnation) yesterday, despite my limited vocal capabilities (due to oral surgery last week to fix a dumb thing with my gums). I've been maintaining social amd mainstream media (SMSM) abstinence quite well, and I cannot lie...it's awesome. Freedom from all that 24/7 unfiltered toxicity and vitriol is amazing. I still consume some news analysis - in a very curated form - through some of my favorite podcasts. But I manage it the way the media used to do it...exposure to curated news and analysis at defined times during the day (typically in the car or while exercising on the Peloton).

I have to take my mom to her piano lesson tonight, so I must sign off. But I'll be back soon. Thanks for reading!

Fin.

I Tried to Warn You

Hi Readers!

I hope this blog post finds you and brings you some joy, peace, happiness, or useful insights. 

Some weeks ago, in mid-November 2024, I encouraged and advised my readers to fast from social and mainstream media (SMSM) due to its deleterious effects on mental, physical, and spiritual well-being. I have no idea how many of my readers took me up on that challenge, but I do know that those who did not are now suffering the serious negative consequences of continuing to consume toxic SMSM, which I totally warned you all about. If you are suffering from SMSM addiction and its destructive consequences, I am sorry that's happening to you.

What I refer to as the Diabolical Forces in the Universe (DFUs) are now fully in control of and exploiting for their own personal gain the SMSM infrastructure. They are doing what is commonly called "flooding the zone with sh!t," so that there is no room for anything that is not their complete load of toxic diarrhea. As a result, consumption of SMSM now literally makes you dumber, angrier, and unhappier. It's also painfully more addictive and difficult to disenfranchise from your life (if you doubt this, I challenge you to abstain from SMSM for a week, or even a day).

While it made more sense and was considerably easier to escape SMSM at the end of 2024 and into early 2025, that does not mean it is impossible to do now. It's just much harder. That being said, three weeks of complete SMSM fasting is all it takes to detoxify it from your life and restore your intelligence, critical thinking skills, happiness, and positivity. I continue to encourage you to disenfranchise SMSM from your life. Coupled with daily aerobic exercise and a whole food, plant based diet, you may even achieve Enlightenment.

Fin.

Down Under Day 14

I had mixed feelings today, because it was the day we had to leave awesome Australia and return to mediocre America. Australia really has their socio-political sh!t together. They have great infrastructure and a generally post-modern, 21st century society. Deborah and I both want to move here, especially if America continues its anti-intellectual descent into idiocy.

Anyway, we got up about 7 AM. Deborah showered first, and I showered second, during her post-shower ablutions. We took it at a leisurely pace, because we were not getting picked up to go to the airport until 9:30 AM. We went down to the hotel restaurant for our last breakfast in Melbourne (the usual!), before checking out, donating our Myki public transit cards to the hotel for the use of future visitors, and then waiting out front of the hotel for our limo to the airport, who arrived on time.

The trip home to Madison WI met our expectations, given the rigamarole of international travel and the mediocrity of the American air transportation system. We managed to sleep a fair amount on the long overseas leg of the trip, from Melbourne AUS to San Francisco USA. Our seat mate on that flight was agreeable and did not need to get up much to pee. We were given fair to good vegan meals on the flight.

We landed at SFO at about 8:30 AM on Saturday, which was before we left Melbourne (at 1 PM Saturday, Melbourne time), due to the weirdness of the International Date Line (we got an extra Saturday, to make up for the Sunday we lost when going to Down Under...). We made our tightest connection, the flight from San Francisco to Denver, with a few minutes to spare. Even though the Melbourne flight was on time and we had over two hours to make the connection, American customs and immigration slowed us down (because they just don't have their sh!t together...a common theme with American infrastructure in general and transportation infrastructure specifically). But we made it, and that's all that matters.

Returning to the States, I became accutely aware of how much farther along into the 21st century other modern post industrial nations are, compared to the US. When did the US lose its will to live? When did its people decide to capitulate to mediocrity and anti-intellectualism (aka, anti-woke)? When did Americans decide to regress back to the 1950s? I don't know. But what I do know is that America needs to up its game. A lot. Chaos is not a viable sociopolitical vision or goal.

We had a relaxed and unrushed layover in DEN, awaiting our Madison flight, which was on time and smooth. My sister Kate picked us up at the Madison airport, at which point I was thrust fully back into my normal life, as she regaled us with our known (but avoided thinking about much for two weeks) upcoming family obligations.

Overall, a great vacation.

Fin.

Down Under Day 13

Today we toured the Great Ocean Road, which is probably best travelogued with the gorgeous pictures I took. So here you go...

There was a lot of driving today, arguably worth it for all the great views. My only complaint with the organized tour excursion is that they did not go through Point Lonsdale, for its fantastic views of the Port Phillip Heads.

It was about a three hour drive back to Melbourne from the 12 Apostles (of which there are actually only seven rock outcroppings) scenic overlook. This was extended a little bit, due to a traffic accident on the major highway back to the city, which required a slight detour.

We were dropped off where we were picked up in the morning. A brief scan of Google Maps suggested we could cross the Yarra River in Melbourne to get to the Flinders Street Train Station on the other side, by way of a pedestrian footbridge (not a tunnel, as I had erroneously thought earlier in the day). That proved true, and we were soon hotel-ward bound on a train. It was the usual two stops to South Yarra. We disembarked the train and walked the couple blocks to the hotel, by way of a 7-11 convenience store (for Immodium AD for Deborah, who had an upset stomach and the sh!ts all day) and a juice/tea stand (for juice/teas for the two of us).

We ordered room service at the hotel, in part because of laziness, but mainly because Deborah did not feel good. We watched an episode of Severance, I finished this travelogue post, and then we slumbered.

Fin.

Down Under Day 12

Today was a free day and a day of our trip that I was quite excited for. I would be taking Deborah out to the eastern Melbourne suburb of Brighton for a day at the beach. But not just any beach...the beach I was fondly familiar with from my childhood stint living in Melbourne in the 80s, Brighton Beach.

We slept in, due to the late night yesterday, and had a leisurely morning. We got up around 9:45 AM and immediately went down to breakfast at the hotel. If you have been following the travelogue, do you want to hazard a guess as to what I ordered? If you guessed the vegan tofu scramble, you'd be right. There are no trick questions on this travelogue. Deborah went off the proscribed free menu again and got the vegan pancakes.

After breakfast, Deborah abluted and we prepped for our day. Deborah made the mistake of updating her Apple Watch, which delayed us by about 15 minutes or so. Normally, that would have stressed me out, but again...we were in no big hurry today. Deborah's foot was bothering her, but not her bad foot. She had actually gotten a blister (possibly two) on her good foot, and they were causing her pain. She medicated accordingly and appropriately, then we headed out.

We took the Sandringham line train out to Middle Brighton. Exiting the train station, there was a small coffee cafe, and we scored beverages and some vegan chocolate chip cookies to go there. We walked through the eastern suburb or Brighton and Deborah actually ended up buying some nice jeans there. Our next stop was #5 Robyn Court, a small flat down a small lane, where I lived for a year and a half with my family as a teen in the 1980s, attending school at St. Leonard's College (an Australian private high school). I have some fond and some traumatic memories from that period of my adolescence, but those are tales for another time. We took a few pictures at Robyn Court, for nostalgia purposes, and then continued on to the beach...specifically Brighton Beach, with its iconic (and costly) bathing boxes.

Despite it being summer in Australia, it was a fairly mild day, with temparatures only in the upper 60s and low 70s Fahrenheit. This, and the fact that the Australian school year had begun the day prior, may have explained the dearth of people - especially kids - on the beach. We easily found a comfortable and quiet patch of sand to lay out our beach towels, absorb some UV rays (boosting our vitamin D levels significantly), and eat the aforementioned chocolate chip cookies. I did the "rotisserie chicken" sunbathing strategy, exposing my un-sunscreened front to the Aussie summer sun for five minutes, then flipping and exposing my back to the sun for five minutes. I repeated this cycle thrice, before putting my tee shirt back on and behaving normally.

After what felt like a reasonable amount of beach time, Deborah and I gathered up our things and wandered back to the train, at the Brighton Beach station, by way of the Dendy Street Beach and Were Street. We got to the station with a couple minutes to spare before a train came and transported us back to the hotel, where we chillaxed and decompressed for a bit.

After that, we walked a few blocks to the aptly named pub and restaurant, Leonard's House of Love, to meet a long lost friend, from when I lived in Melbourne in the 80s, one Paul Reese-Jones. It had been 40 years since we had seen each other in person, but it was like no time had passed, except for our advanced middle age appearances. We reminisced for a spell over drinks and bar food, then parted ways, promising to continue to stay in touch, which I am sure we will.

We returned to the hotel and I ordered some delicious vegan dumplings from room service. We watched a bit of TV on Deborah's tablet, then slumbered.

Fin.

Down Under Day 11

Our tour excursion today - to French and Phillip Islands off the east coast of Melbourne's Mornington Peninsula - was not slated to kick off until about noon, and we now had a fair understanding of where we would meet the tour host in downtown Melbourne, having done a fairly comprehensive walking tour of its iconic arcades and lanes yesterday. As such, we had a fairly leisurely and un-rushed morning - comprising the usual breakfast at the hotel (tofu scramble on toast for me; vegan pancakes for Deborah), a train ride downtown, a phone call with my sister Kate (regarding my dad's health and recovery from a recent medical crisis), and an early lunch of vegan Lord of the Fries fast food - before meeting the excursion tour guide (Sam) and tour bus in front of the Regent Theatre (home to the Melbourne Ballet) on Collins Street.

The day's tour was an absolute marathon of driving, ferrying, and wildlife viewing - including close ups with koalas, wallabies, bees, echidnas, bandicoots, and penguins, among other iconic Australian species. The tour bus shuttled us southeast from Melbourne into the Mornington Peninsula and ultimately to the French Island ferry, which we took across the sea to the very remote (and Aussie horror movie iconic) French Island. Here we met another tour bus and tour guide (Scott) who drove us around the rustic island, stopping to view chlamydia free koalas and an echidna (by the side of the road). We made a lunch stop at a remote ranch on the island, catering to such tour groups with a light lunch (even accommodating our veganism, thankfully) and some wine. After lunch, Scott returned us to the ferry terminal, where we caught the ferry over to the town of Cowes on Phillip Island, and regrouped with our original tour guide, Sam. Deborah thoroughly enjoyed both of the boat rides. 

We had about an hour to kill before Sam shuttled us to the place where we would see the march of the faerie penguins at sundown, by way of a scenic wildlife tour around the island, during which we saw - out the windows of the tour bus - numerous wallabies, an echidna, some geese, and even a few baby faery penguins peeping out of their underground burrows. We used that hour to get a quick vegan dinner at an Italian restaurant called Pino's, where they had a vegan pasta dish that I ordered. Deborah got a veganized pizza, some of which I helped her eat when she had had her fill.

The viewing of the faery penguins returning from their day of fishing at sea was quite an ordeal, some of it enjoyable. I don't even want to travelogue all of it here, but I had seen it once before, years ago with my family, even before I met Deborah, and the sundown march of the penguins is a sight to behold. However, the human element at the thing was discouraging and depressing - literally and ironically a zoo. There were way too many people. I get that they have to fund the nature center and viewing area with tourism dollars, and they must make thousands - if not millions - of dollars a day, given the vast congregation of humanity in attendance at our particular penguin viewing event.

Despite clear rules about no photography at the viewing of one of nature's coolest experiences, many people just couldn't resist the compulsion to capture it on their electronic devices. I'm going to say it here, and I'll say it whenever I can, smart phones and social/mainstream media are a curse on humanity and toxic to mind, body, and soul. This being a de facto truth, Asians are largely mindless, body-less, and soulless, because it was almost exclusively Asians violating the strictures on photographing the faery penguins. I'll give them the benefit of the doubt...perhaps there was a language barrier with the posted signs and park ranger verbal admonitions against photography. But even some of the individuals directly warned continued to try to cheat the system. Anyway, f**k those f**kers.

Deborah was thankful that I had advised her to dress warmly and bring an extra layer for the penguin viewing. Despite modest southern hemisphere summer temperatures in the 70s, the penguin viewing area on Phillip Island faces the rugged Bass Strait body of water between continental Australia and Tasmania. Depending on wind direction, Phillip Island can get some gusty chill winds blustering up from the cold Southern Ocean and Antarctica. Luckily, the winds on this particular evening of our penguin viewing were out of the west, and so we were protected by an outcropping of the island on our right from the full force of the oceanic winds. But they were pretty fierce and we got chilly during the event.

When Deborah had reached the maximum limit of her injustice phobia against the photo pirates attending the penguin viewing, we walked back toward the parking lot, alongside (on an elevated boardwalk) the "penguin highway," a stretch of dirt track most of the 800+ penguins used to hustle back to their dens and chicks (awaiting their regurgitated fish dinner). We saw many young penguin chicks running out to greet arriving adults, a behavior the rangers said most chicks do, despite being denied nourishing regurgitate by all adults SAVE their actual biological parents. I felt bad seeing most of these chicks get denied food (by way of squawks and pecks from annoyed non-biologically related adults), but I assured myself that the parents' of these chicks would soon arrive, safe and sound, from the sea.

We got back to the tour bus about 10 minutes before its departure back to Melbourne. The drive back to Melbourne from Phillip Island was the most torturous part of the day's excursion, because it was nearly two hours of driving late at night, with not much to see or do. We were dropped off by Sam, the tour bus driver, at the same place we were picked up, outside the Regent Theatre on Collins Street, at almost exactly midnight. I had deduced earlier, from Google Maps, that the last train back to our hotel would be departing at about 11 minutes after midnight, with no further services until morning. So, we had to hustle to get from the tour drop off to Flinders Street Station a few blocks away. We got a little bit turned around by the aforementioned lanes and arcades (and Google Maps biffing on me), but made it to the train station with a few minutes to spare. Additionally, the train we needed was delayed about 20 minutes, so we made it onboard our train comfortably, albeit exhausted.

Arriving back at the hotel around 1 AM, we decompressed for bed and slumbered. Hard.

Fin.

Down Under Day 10

In the morning, we got up at a fairly leisurely pace. I am almost always the first one to wake up in our couple dyad. My diurnal rhythm is quite locked in. I believe Deborah would sleep 20 hours per day, the way Australian koalas do, if she were able to. We did our morning ablutions, with me taking a shower after Deborah, while she got ready for the day.

When we descended to the ground floor, on our way to breakfast, we stopped at the front desk to see about a room upgrade - or at least a bed upgrade, because (as mentioned in yesterday's post) the room we had been given was tiny and the bed was miniscule. The hotel was able to give us a complimentary upgrade to a room with a bigger bed, at no extra cost, the transition to which we made later in the day, after getting back from our planned excursion, a tour of Melbourne's infamous arcades and lanes.

We had our usual breakfast fare of vegan tofu scramble on toast for me and vegan muesli with fruit and yog(h)urt for Deborah. For beverages, I had a soy mocha coffee and Deborah had a chamomile tea. I was not particularly enamoured of the hotel staff working the morning shift. They gave off faint attitudes that were off putting. I also continue to not be enamoured of the Ovolo hotel chain in general, with their militancy about what's included and allowed in the "complimentary" breakfast. A credible and profitable hotel should offer a self serve continental breakfast, and when they don't, it conveys a distrust in their customers. But enough said about that.

I was very excited to use Melbourne's excellent public transport system, which we did after breakfast. There was a train station (South Yarra) very close to the hotel, with trains running frequently, inbound and outbound from Flinders Street Station in downtown Melbourne. In fact, one of the train lines passing through the South Yarra station was the Sandringham line, which we would take out to Brighton Beach later in the week. I was very excited about that, because I could show Deborah where I lived in the 80s.

We walked to the train station and caught the next available train down to Flinders Street Station. We were slated to meet our tour guide for the Melbourne Iconic Arcades and Lanes tour in front of the Time Out Cafe in Federation Square, across from Flinders Street Station. We got there a bit early, anticipating (but not experiencing) delays or difficulties in getting there. So, we ordered hot beverages at the cafe and used the loo.

The arcades and lanes tour was quite enjoyable for Deborah, despite a lot of walking. Lanes are the equivalent of alleys in the US. But these Melbourne lanes are also home to some infamous street art (aka, graffiti) by infamous street artists. Arcades are the equivalent of mini malls in the US. But these Melbourne mini malls are decorated with interesting things of historical significance and host numerous shoppes, boutiques, and cafes. Deborah was a trooper, surviving a three hour walking tour, with only a 30 minute coffee break at a cafe in the middle of the tour.

Even after the tour was done, we stayed downtown for a while. Deborah shopped for clothes at a chic clothing store called Alpha 360 (A360), and she bought a few things. We found a vegan friendly Indian curry restaurant called Om Vegetarian and ate a late lunch of vegan curries with sides of rice and naan bread. We also scored some vegan Ben and Jerry's ice cream and, on a whimsy, I got a shave (complete with straight razor) at a barbershop that was down at the end of one of the aforementioned lanes.

We got home in the early evening, quite pooped out. Deborah was spent and did not want to go to the hotel restaurant, so we ordered room service, which was actually very good, especially the vegan dumplings. I think we watched a couple episodes of Squid Game on Deborah's tablet and then went to sleep.

Fin.

Down Under Day Nine

Today was a travel day, from Brisbane AUS to Melbourne AUS, the city of my birth. Our pickup for transit to the airport was scheduled for 11:25 AM, so we had a fair bit of morning time to kill before checking out of the hotel and meeting our limosine to the Brisbane airport.

We had our usual complimentary breakfast of vegan muesli and yog(h)urt at the hotel cafe, then took a short walk around the block in search of a coffee shoppe, which we found. Today was a holiday in AUS, the Monday observance of Australia Day (Sunday), so traffic was light and many shoppes were closed. Because this particular coffee shoppe had chosen to be open, they charged us a "holiday surcharge" on our bill. Because AUS is a country that values its people and minimum wage laborers (unlike the US), when people work on a holiday, they get paid extra at the consumer's expense. I love that. If you don't, f**k off and stay at home on public holidays, dig?

On our walk back from the coffee shoppe, we were privileged to encounter a cute little Dachshund and its owner out for a walk. The Doxy was named Lola and we have no idea what her owner's name was (because who cares?). Lola had one blue eye and enjoyed giving kisses, according to her anonymous owner, which Deborah and I were both privvy to. "You made her day," said Anonymous Owner, before heading off in a direction other than ours.

Back at the hotel, we chilled by the rooftop pool for a while so I could finish my macadamia nut milk iced mocha and write this travelogue post. Eventually, we made our way down to the lobby and awaited our limo to the airport, which arrived a few minutes late, but otherwise got us to the airport in plenty of time to check our luggage to Melbourne, transit airport security (much easier than in the US), order a couple of vegan smoothies, and deposit ourselves at our departure gate for the Virgin Australia flight to Melbourne.

The Australians, unlike the Americans, have their air transportation system down to a no nonsense and streamlined science. It's "boom boom boom." They get you where you need to go expediently. The flight turnover at the gates is fast and efficient. That being said, I had high hopes and expectations for Virgin Australia Airlines in particular. Said hopes and expectations were not manifested, primarily due to the lack of legroom of the economy seats. For that, I blame Sir Richard Branson and pray for his expedient demise, because my leg room and flight comfort trumps his very existence.

In any case, the flight from Brisbane to Melbourne was smooth and uneventful, despite Deborah being annoyed with me for some reason. We were met at the Melbourne Airport by our limo driver, who took us to the Ovolo South Yarra hotel - where we would be staying for the duration of our Melbourne leg of the trip - in a swank ride.

We checked into the hotel, deposited our sh!t in our room, and descended to the hotel's 100% plant based Lona Misa (a play on Mona Lisa) restaurant for a great vegan dinner. I had a mock seafood dish that was uncannily realistic (faux shrimp and faux fish). Deborah had a faux meatball dish that was pretty good, but overly salty.

We retired to the hotel room to slumber. The room was remarkably small...the smallest yet...even smaller than the room at the Sudima Hotel in Auckland, which was damn small. The bed in our Melbourne hotel room was only a double, very tight quarters for Deborah and me, who are accustomed to sleeping in a king sized bed at home and - usually - when we travel. We made it work, but decided to ask about a room (or at least a bed) upgrade at the front desk of the hotel on the morrow.

Fin.

Down Under Day Eight

We began our last full day in Brisbane AUS at a much more leisurely pace than the day prior. And there was not going to be any ghosting by fictional (prove me wrong!) adventure tour companies, because we had planned our own day of adventure. To wit, a ferry ride along the Brisbane River out to a Koala Sanctuary. We were to catch the ferry at the same pontoon (aka, jetty) where we had boarded the Sunset Cruise ferry the night before, near the State Library, Cultural Center, and Modern Art Museum, at 9 AM. This gave us ample time for a leisurely breakfast at the Ovolo The Valley hotel cafe before we caught a taxi down to the pontoon.

We arrived at the pontoon well in advance of the boarding time for the Mirimar ferry that would take us up river to the Koala Sanctuary. None the less, a cue was already forming, and we got on it. We secured less than ideal indoor seats on the boat for the ride to the sanctuary, but jockeyed for much better seats on the journey back.

The ferry ride to the sanctuary was a little over an hour and we had about three hours to kill at the sanctuary before the ferry was slated to push off for the return trip to town. It was more than ample time to see everything we wanted to see (koalas, kangaroos, emus, dingos, etc.), get some lunch at the sanctuary cafe (vegan veggie wraps, fries, and dairy free ice cream bars), and purchase a couple souvenirs for the grandkids (stuffed animals...a kangaroo and a koala). We returned to the sanctuary earlier than scheduled, in order to secure better seats on the ferry back, which we did. We sat next to a chatty Melbourner who gave us some good tips for the upcoming Melbourne leg of our vacation and encouraged us to check out the Brisbane Star Tower outlook, visible from the Cultural Center pontoon as a balcony high up on one of the city's nearby skyscrapers, and accessible by way of a pedestrian footbridge from our side of the river to the other (where the Star Tower was located).

The Star Tower excursion comprised crossing the footbridge (a fair walk) and following signs to a lift (Aussie word for elevator) that ascended up to the 23rd floor of the Star Tower building. We did not have long to wait for the lift and were soon privvy to some spectacular views of Brisbane from the 23rd floor of the Star Tower. Deborah's akrophobia was somewhat triggered by the elevation, so we stepped away from the edge of the balcony and enjoyed cold drinks at one of the many establishments on this popular floor of the building before descending back down to the ground floor.

Already on the bank of the river opposite the Cultural Center Pontoon, we located a suitable place from which to call an Uber and called one to take us back to the hotel.

Unsure what to do for dinner and somewhat spent from the day's adventures, we got a simple meal of cegan pizza at an Italian restaurant neighboring the hotel.

Then we slumbered, by way of watching an episode of Prime Target, a new TV series, on Deborah's tablet.

Fin.

SMSM Boycott Reminder

Hi Readers!

I hope this post finds you and brings you some happiness or wealth, whatever your preference. 

I interrupt the enjoyable and entertaining travelogue episodes of late to remind you all to consider the significant advantages of boycotting all social and mainstream media (SMSM). SMSM is toxic and destructive to your mental, physical, and spiritual well being. It literally makes you dumber, angrier, and unhappier when you consume it, and it has no significant return on investment for your happiness or wealth. In fact, it addicts you to grievance, which is a miserable existence.

Abstaining from SMSM makes you smarter and happier and less burdened by grievance. I cannot prove this to you by way of a simple blog post, such as this. But...you can literally prove it to yourself. Simply abstain from SMSM for a minimum of two weeks (ideally a month) and see the benefits for yourself. You will 1000% notice the positive improvements to all domains of your wellness. If abstaining from SMSM for that long scares you or fills you with anxiety, guess what? You are addicted to grievance.

Fin.

Down Under Day Seven

We were supposed to participate in a massive adventure today...traveling out to Moreton Island off the coast of Brisbane AUS at the butt crack of dawn for an all day excursion of sand dune surfing, nature hiking, and snorkeling ship wrecks, while dodging shark attacks.

But...we were apparently ghosted by the adventure tour company that was supposed to catalyze this massive adventure on our behalf. So...f**k those guys.

We had tried to call the adventure tour company the day prior, to confirm the early morning pickup not far from our hotel, but the phone number we had been given by our travel agent appeared to be out of service. This should have been the first indication that something was amiss. The second indication that something was amiss occurred after we got up butt early anyway, missing the free hotel breakfast as a result, and cabbed it to the supposed adventure tour pickup address in Brisbane, which was an empty store front, with a "for rent" sign in the window. None the less, the site did have a bus stop island that one could reasonably assume an adventure tour company might commandeer for the purposes of picking up tour participants in a large minivan or something. We held out some hope. But the 7:10 AM rendezvous time came and went, so we messaged our travel agent, who was - remarkably - available to receive our message and said she would expediently look into what was amiss. 

In the meanwhile, we decided to wander back toward our hotel, which was not far away. We had only cabbed it the few blocks to the purported pickup address because the pickup time was so early and we wanted to be on time, unlike the adventure tour company, apparently. Our travel agent messaged us back as we were walking and told us she had been informed the adventure tour had been canceled due to weather (odd...because the weather was awesome...sunny skies and temperatures in the 80s...ideal weather!) AND that the adventure tour company had messaged us the day prior to communicate this fact (neither Deborah nor I had any email, voicemail, or text messages from the adventure tour company on any of our devices). So, we concluded we had been ghosted by the adventure tour company, for whatever the f**k reason.

Always the first to reframe adversity as opportunity, we got back to the hotel in plenty of time to have the complimentary breakfast we would have missed had the adventure tour happened. At breakfast, I did a bit of research on local attractions and discovered a sunset river cruise happening later in the day, which I promptly booked online.

The remainder of the day involved more chilling by the rooftop pool of the hotel, some more sauna exposure to loosen up the lung butter from my slowly resolving chest cold, a lunch at a vegan junk food vendor called Lord of the Fries, and finally the aforementioned sunset river cruise, by way of a cab ride down the the Brisbane Cultural Center Public Pontoon (aka, jetty) and a wander through the Brisbane Modern Art Museum prior to boarding the boat for the cruise (we had cabbed it down to the cruise launch site quite early, to get our bearings in advance, since it was unfamiliar territory).

The sunset river cruise was pleasant and we chatted with some locals (Brett and Ann) on the 90 minute boat ride up and down a short stretch of the lengthy Brisbane River. As the sun went down, the city of Brisbane AUS lit up in some aesthetically pleasing ways. After disembarking from the boat and bidding Brett and Ann farewell (with some challenging attempts to befriend them on social media), we made our way through the labyrinthine urban thoroughfare along the river's edge to a vegan Mexican restaurant called El Planta, not far from the jetty. We had reserved a table online for 8 PM and got there a little early. This pleased the hostess for some reason. We had a very enjoyable vegan dinner there, comprising mainly an assortment of vegan tacos (hearts of palm simulating fish, jackfruit simulating pulled pork, and cauliflower emulating cauliflower) and a margarita (for me).

We took an Uber back to the hotel and slumbered.

Fin.

Down Under Day Six

To start our first full day in Brisbane AUS, we descended to the restaurant on the ground floor of the hotel for our complimentary breakfast. Unlike the all-you-could-eat continental breakfast we were privvy to at the Sudima Hotel in Auckland, the Ovolo the Valley hotel in Brisbane only offered us a single meal and a beverage, chosen from their limited menu of options, very few of which were fully vegan (although several of which were veganizable). I chose a fruit bowl with an assortment of fruit and some vegan yogurt (which is spelled yoghurt here), with coffee as my beverage choice. I also added on a side of tofu scramble, for protein, and a green smoothie. It's possible we'll be charged (aka, nickeled and dimed) for these add ons when we check out, but it is what it is. Deborah got a muesli bowl, which also had fruit and vegan yogurt, with a green smoothie as her beverage choice. It was a decent breakfast, despite the portions being a bit skimpy.

After breakfast, we took a walk up the road a few blocks from our hotel to check out a plant based hot dog stand that our travel agent had shared with us. It wasn't open when we got there, but a nearby coffee shoppe was, so we ordered some beverages (soy hot mocha for me; iced oat chai latte for Deborah), and by the time we had finished those, the hot dog stand was open. The hot dog stand was not exclusively plant based as we had been led to believe, but it did offer many plant based options, and we ordered some of said options on the electronic ordering menu boards beside the stand. Despite the technology, the very human person working the stand managed to f**k up our order, forgetting one of the plant based hot dogs we had ordered. We did not discover this until we were back at the hotel and it was too late to do anything about it (despite Deborah having her doubts about the accuracy of the order when we received it, which I erroneously dismissed, largely because I was in a crappy mood due to still fighting a head (and increasly chest) cold).

Most of the rest of the day we spent poolside at the rooftop pool of the hotel. They also had a sauna next to the pool, which I indulged in with hopes it might clear up my chest cold. It very well may have helped eventually, but I was still feeling pretty crappy, so we sought out another chemist (aka, pharmacy) and got me some more OTC meds, including a Robitussin-like cough medicine called "Chesty Cough," a moniker I loved because it was so perfectly descriptive of the malady it was purported to alleviate!

We also found a grocery store and scored some fruit, nut milk, corn chips, and hummus, as supplemental nutriment.

Unsure what to do for dinner, and it being a Friday, although we did not care, because we were on holiday, we chose a nearby Italian restaurant to try, mostly because they were willing to accommodate our vegan way of eating. It was satisfactory and the staff were very friendly. As we were leaving (with boxed leftover vegan pizza, because the portions were non-skimpy) the owner/manager bent our ears for what seemed like an egregiously long time.

We returned to the hotel and slumbered, but not before I polished off the leftover pizza.

Fin.

Down Under Day Five

Today was a travel day - from Auckland NZ to Brisbane Australia (AUS) via airplane. However, our Air New Zealand flight to NZ did not leave until 4 PM, which meant our limo ride to the airport did not pick us up until noon, which meant we had some time to mill about Auckland in the morning.

We ended up milling to a bagel shop called Ugly Bagels that had intrigued me. I had high hopes that they might have vegan bagels, but those hopes were dashed when the bagel shop manager said all their bagels were made with (albeit free range) eggs.

So then, we milled to a pharmacy (these are called "chemists" in this part of the world) for some OTC cold remedies for the cold I had been fighting for the better part of the week. One of these remedies was a bottle of oxymetazoline nasal spray, to clear my clogged sinuses. It worked, but almost too well. For the rest of the day, I had a nonstop runny nose and frequent sneezing fits.

Not much else to say about today except that Air New Zealand is an exceptional airline. They don't nickel and dime you on everything. They even served us a vegan meal on the three and a half hour flight, which is unheard of on American-based airlines. When we landed in Brisbane, the passage through customs and immigration was a bit of a cumbersome ordeal, but we made it, and met our limo driver near the airport exit for transit to our Brisbane hotel, Ovolo - The Valley. The Valley, in this case, is a Brisbane suburb called Fortitude Valley, a rather ritzy area full of high end car dealerships, like Mazerati and Mercedes-Benz. It was actually not an ideal location, because it was quite a distance away from the river that runs through and in many ways defines Brisbane. I have fond memories of my 2014 trip here, when my family stayed at a hotel right on the river.

We had dinner at the hotel, which offered a vegan menu. The food was tasty, but the portion sizes were not as large as those we had come to expect thus far on our journey.

Then, we slumbered.

Fin.

Down Under Day Four

Today's itinerary involved an all day "bush and beach" tour. We got picked up by the tour operator in the morning at our hotel, via minivan. After picking up the other participants at their various hotels and what not, we set off for Auckland's West Coast, by way of a scenic cruise through the city. There were a few potty breaks and rest stops along the way, but the latter were not especially vegan friendly, which is why we had strategically and fortuitously brought PB&J sammies with us (prepped during breakfast at the hotel that morning). Take that vegan haters!

After lunch, we visited a nature area for a brief tour of local flora, followed by a picnic at a black sand surfing beach, whose claim to fame is that the sand is magnetic (and also surfing). It was lovely, especially since the weather was great too.

After the tour, we had the driver drop us off near the Auckland Sky Tower, instead of our hotel, so we could revisit the Sunflower Vegan Cafe that we went to on our first day. We once again ordered too much food, forgetting that NZ restaurants do not skimp on portion sizes. So we had to force down two servings of curry and a serving of Tom Kha soup (all with sides of rice), as well as a dessert we had had our eye on during our first visit there. Needless to say, I had to eat the lion's share of the food once Deborah had eaten her fill.

We walked back to the hotel to find our electrical outlets were all out of power. We called the front desk and they fixed the problem. We decided to check out the rooftop bar at the hotel, and it proved quite lame. My expectations were far higher.

Then we slumbered.

Fin.

Down Under Day Three

Tuesday in Auckland NZ was a free day, or what the travel agencies call an "at leisure" day. I woke up at around 5 AM, due to having crashed early and hard the night before AND having an unpleasant head cold that made sleep difficult. I think Deborah got up around 6 AM and did her morning ablutions before we headed down to breakfast around 7 AM. It was the same deal as yesterday - fruit and muesli with oat milk, plus coffee with oat milk for me. It's actually a quite satisfying and healthy breakfast.

Our at leisure activity for the day was to buy a couple day passes to the hop on/off bus that cruises around Auckland, stopping every 30 minutes or so at various city attractions. We had originally considered taking a ferry ride out to a nearby island, full of restaurants and wineries, and doing a different hop on/off bus there, but decided against that for three good reasons. The primary reason was the weather. It was rainy and gray, and not especially warm. Had the weather been gorgeous, we might have gone to the island anyway, despite not being big wine drinkers (winos) and being fairly certain the restaurants would not cater to vegan eating, just to enjoy the scenery.

At the same time that we bought the bus tickets, we also scored some discounted tickets for the Auckland Aquarium, one of the stops on the hop on/off bus, and that was our planned destination by way of stops at the Auckland Zoo and the Auckland Museum of Tranportation and Technology (MOTAT). The latter two stops turned out to be duds, due to the weather. At the ticketing entrance to the zoo, the woman working there actively dissuaded us from buying tickets, because, she said, the animals all go into their dens when it rains, so we'd be wasting money. So, we didn't go in. Instead we walked to the MOTAT, which was a longer walk (in drizzling rain) than we expected and we thought we were lost for a brief moment. So, by the time we got to the entrance for the MOTAT, we had lost most of our motivation to go in. Plus, Deborah's feet were bothering her, due to the long walk. So, we located the hop on/off bus and proceeded to the Auckland Aquarium, which we did go into (since we had already pre-purchased tickets) and enjoyed.

After the aquarium, we hopped on the hop on/off bus again and hopped off at a stop near the Gorilla Kitchen vegan cafe for a late lunch/early dinner. We once again ordered way too much food, and the restaurant did not skimp on portions, which has been a consistent finding here in Auckland. I had a vegan "phish" and chips that was very good. The "phish" appeared to be made from some sort of textured vegetable protein. We shared some deep fried mushrooms and a vegan pizza, but couldn't finish the pizza. We took it back to the hotel in a to go box.

In a state of food coma, we fell into evening power naps that transitioned into full fledged sleep at some point, not waking again until morning.

Sidebar: At some point after arriving in Auckland, I caught a nasty head cold, despite my best efforts at hand sanitizing and masking during our travels. This made sleep uncomfortable and I had to take lots of OTC cold meds most of the days of our stay.

Fin.

Down Under Day Two

As my readers likely gleaned from the way the Day One travelogue ended, my medicinal strategy to Jedi Mind Trick my physiology for minimal jet lag more or less worked. I was able to sleep for a significant portion of the 13 hour oversea(s) flight from San Francisco to Auckland NZ, via a combination of a strategically timed dosing of melatonin and hydroxyzine (an antihistamine with both anti-anxiety and sedating properties), ample leg room (due to a pre-paid seat upgrade), comfortable footwear and clothing (including a fleece balaclava that allowed me to regulate the temperature of my head), and good earplugs (to block out all but the most obnoxious ambient noises). I now believe I have international travel comfort locked in about as well as it can be. I would say I achieved at least five hours of good sleep on the flight, which is acceptable.

Our plane landed in Auckland NZ at about 9 AM local time. The customs and immigration process went fairly smoothly. My Australian passport is recognized by New Zealand, without the need for a visa. Deborah had a valid visa for her American passport. We were a bit unsure if some of the food we brought with us was prohibited in NZ, but we declared what we had and were transparent about it. I was most worried about the packages of raw nuts (shelled pecans and walnuts). A trained contraband sniffing dog honed in on my bag of food, but we think the dog was simply attracted to the peanut butter of our PB&J sandwiches, because the customs officer waved us on after determining we had nothing forbidden with us. We exited customs and entered Auckland NZ proper.

A pre-arranged limo driver named Gary met us near the airport exit, holding up a tablet with our names on it. He was good natured and told us quite a bit about NZ's sociopolitical climate (in summary, it's miles ahead of the US on many quality of life metrics) on our roughly 30 minute drive from the airport to the Sudima Hotel in downtown Auckland. When we arrived at the hotel, our room wasn't ready yet, because we got in so early. However, one of the reception staffers offered us a complimentary upgrade to a nicer room that was ready, and we headed there.

Now, if this room was an upgrade, I cannot imagine what the original room was like. The room we got was tiny and austere. Basically a bed in the center of the main room and a bathroom off of that. There was a microscopic mini fridge, capable of containing almost nothing, and a small shelf with coffee/tea making amenities. There was a TV too, but we didn't have much interest in watching it. The room served our purposes, a safe space to sleep and bathe, although a microwave might have been nice. We deposited our bags and settled in a bit. Deborah took a shower, after which we took a short walk over to an eatery called the Sunflower Vegan Cafe. It was good plant-based eating. They did not skimp on the portion sizes. It was a bit heavy on oil, but it was tasty and filled us up.

Upon returning to the hotel, we succumbed to intense power naps for a couple hours, catching up on the sleep deficit acquired on the long journey to get here. It was hard to shake myself awake from the nap, but I eventually did.

We had dinner at the vegan friendly hotel restaurant, called EAST, which I cannot help but point out is an anagram for EATS. It was Asian themed. There was no skimping on portion sizes here either. I got a pho noodle bowl. Neither Deborah nor I can remember what she ordered.

After dinner, we decompressed in the hotel room for a spell, and then went to bed, fairly satisfied with the day.

Fin.